05/06/2016

You Made Me a Mom.

Last night while putting Jack to bed, I looked around his nursery just as I’ve done every single night since bringing him home. This time though, it all just felt a little different. This night I couldn’t help but see and feel glimpses of the past every way I would turn.

I literally had a flashback to days not long ago, when the room simply stood as a hint of what was to come. It was Jack’s room, but at the time I really had no idea what that meant, who Jack was, and what he would be like.

Jack's Nursery

I looked at the rocking chair I had used to put my son to sleep so many times before that night. This same rocking chair was once my grandmother’s, who rocked her own babies and grandbabies in it too many times to count. On the rocking chair are new cushions my mom had reupholstered using a gingham print window curtain that we had found together in the clearance bin at Pottery Barn Kids. The rocker wasn’t anything fancy or big or new, but it had memories from another time and place made by a woman who had a heart of gold, and a hug that could melt even the coldest day away.

Jack's Nursery

I tirelessly picked and chose all the little details of his room, from what books would line the shelves, to the white and navy linens adorning his crib. Only the softest crib sheets would ever do. I remember putting together the crib with Tim when I was around eight months pregnant. Although at the time assembling that piece of furniture felt like a pain, that recollection now is nothing but a sweet memory of our pre-baby days.

Jack's Nursery

Yes, we picked, and planned and plotted a beautiful, safe room for our baby boy. The one thing we couldn’t pick though turned out to be the best thing of all. I have prayed all my life that I would become a mom, and my beautiful, healthy, kind-hearted son is more, much much much more, than I could have ever imagined. Even in my wildest dreams I couldn’t have asked for a baby as sweet natured and loving, who is so silly and giggly, that is as handsome from the inside out as our baby Jack. This is my first Mother’s Day as a mother, and I am feeling all the feels: Overwhelmed with joy and love and fear and pride and happiness and every emotion in between.

As I kissed the soft skin on the back of his neck and laid him down for sweet dreams in the crib his daddy and I built together, I thought my heart might explode from the love I feel for my son. Jack, you made me a mom and in doing so made all my hopes and dreams a beautiful reality. I am so thankful and as cliche as it sounds, blessed to be your mommy. I thank God every day for trusting me to help lead you and raise you alongside your dad. When I look in your eyes, I see your daddy, and I am once again reminded just how much I love him and love you, our precious boy.

Thank you Jack for making me a mom! It is a gift that could never be bought, but is the best one I could ever receive.

Jack - 5 Months

Comments

  1. Paula says:

    You are an awesome mother, daughter and best friend!!!! This post is very inspiration! Thank you for all you do!

  2. All the feels!!! <3 <3 <3

    Love seeing you be a mom, sweet friend 🙂
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